"Overdued"

"Overdued"

This is long overdued. I have to stop procrastinating. Now i have :)

I've been telling myself to post an entry for the past few days, but i guess i was rather occupied these days :P


Tomorrow i hope i can make it for jazzfest. Joe has been asking me to go with him but i haven't had the right time :(


Anyways, time to put at least a smile on your face;





Plastic Surgery

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is sent to a hospital. While on the operating table, she has a near death experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks Him if this is it. God says no, and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, and more. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

When she arrives in front of God, she complains, "I thought you said I had another 30 years ?"God replies, "I don't recognise you."




Car Joke

AUDI:
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention

BMW:
Bought My Wife
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women but
Broke My Wallet

CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

DODGE:
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dead On the Day Guarantee Expires

FIAT:Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

FORD:
Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM:
Garbage Motors
Gluteus Maximus

HONDA:
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles (Yes!)

HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

SAAB:
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO:Very Old Looking Vehicular Object

PORSCHE:
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything




Three Vampires

Three vampires were on a tree, each bragging about being the best vampire of the three. All of the sudden, Vampire A flew away and came back within 10 seconds. His mouth was so full with fresh blood, excess of the blood were dripping from his mouth.

Vampire A : "You see that house?"

Vampire B : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "Ya I saw."

Vampire A : "I sucked all their blood."

Vampire B then flew out of the tree, and came back in 5 seconds. Blood dripped from his mouth too.

Vampire B : "You see that village?"

Vampire A : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "Ya I saw."

Vampire B : "I sucked all their blood."

Vampire C then flew out of the tree, and came back in 2 seconds. Blood dripped not only from his mouth too, but was also all over his face.

Vampire C : "You see that tree there?"

Vampire A : "Ya I saw."

Vampire B : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "I didn't."




- take care and God bless, everyone.









- jW's.