Wooppeee...s' been awhile since my last entry. Haven't been in the mood for blogging. Besides blogging's kinda gay :P
And so, classes resumes accordingly on Monday, which is tomorrow! After long 4 week break i think its finally time we get our rears back in gears (like, wtf? :) )
For the next (this) semester, i will be taking accounts, information systems, marketing and macroeconomics. I suck in accounts :(. I really do. I didn't do well at all back at SAM in Taylor's especially for my accounting subject. I barely passes the finals. Thats why im in VU :(
HAHAHA..
I think marketing will be alot like management. Freaking alot of dumb theories and also the need for good command in the English language is there. ANd of coz, you need to know how to TALK.
BULL-ing you SHIT.
Basically, marketing is about learning how to BULL your SHIT. HAHA..uh..nvm Monash students' joke :)
Information Systems should be like IT back in SAM Taylors. Alot of tedious work and crazy assignments (databases...). It's gonna be a long sem.
Macroeconomics...will be...like ...uh..economics.
Adn accounting..will be accounting. I'm gonna suck at it. I don't want to :( I have to work harder this sem. bleh.
Oh and, the jokes for the day. Try guessing the "theme" for today's jokes :)
Sex In The Dark
"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp--only to discover a cucumber in his hand.
"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!"
"Honey! Let me explain!"
"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed.
"You impotent SOB!!"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted,
"Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!"
Sucks Sex Life
A guy was talking with his friend in a bar and told him, "My sex life sucks, just when things start to get good my wife gets tired and just quits". His friends said, "I used to have the same problem but then I went out and bought a gun and put blank bullets in it." The first guy said, "How does that help?", and his friend said, "When my wife gets tired and starts to slow down I fire it and she gets so scared her adrenaline gets going and she'll fuck all night." So the first guy said I'm going to try it, and he did.
He came back to the bar a couple weeks later and his friend said, "Where have you been? Did you try it?" and he says, "Yes, I tried it. I got home, put the gun under my pillow, and started to fuck my wife. Well, we were in the middle of some 69 and she got tired and started to stop so I shot it off. His friend said, "So what happened?" "She bit my dick off, shit in my face, and a naked man jumped out of my closet with his hands in the air."
Free Sex
Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed a large billboard sign advertising free sex with a 15 gallon fill-up of gas. Thinking this sounded like too good of a deal to be true, they both decided to check it out and went into town and stopped at the gas station.
They filled up their car with gas and went into pay. Before handing over the money, they asked the station manager about the free sex. "Well," said the manager, "it's not quite that simple. First you need to take a simple test and if you pass, you get the free sex. What you do is try and guess the number I am thinking of between One and Five.
"The men looked at each other and decided to try the number, Three. "Wrong," said the manager, the number I was thinking of was Two, but you can come back again and try to win." The Norwegian men left the gas station disappointed and drove away. While in their car, one looks over and says to the other, "Hey, Ole, I bet that manager cheated us. You know he could have said any number and how would we know if it was the right number?
"His friend looked at him and replied, "No you're wrong, he didn't cheat us. My wife won four times just last week!"
Intercom
This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on thewall and says to her: "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!" she said.
"Look, don't worry," he said, "it will be quick, I promise you."
"Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."
"At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, Sweetie, I really need it."
"I've already said NO, and NO is final."
"Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too.
"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, dammit, give him the blowjob, or I'll have to blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep."
Guessed the theme already? :)
- take care and God bless, everyone.
- tsencai.
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