Oh yea..second post dated from 3rd October 2005.
Why I continue to discuss grades with anyone is beyond me. Why I even look at my grades is beyond me. I am bloody fucking stupid. This is not really a surprise or anything. I know what I got. It is bad and at this point of the situation, I really don’t feel like recalling my results.
PS a reminder to a “special someone”: Nagging at me has never and will never help me. It only hurts me and worsens my performance in anything. If you continue to nag I will act deaf and dumb to the degree of an all-befouling mediocrity afflicted with mental retardation.
Here is the deal...when my grades suck, I am not happy. I can seem happy and as much as I say I don't care, I do. It is that simple. Lately, because my grades have been sucky, I have never gotten any praise or a good remark. But hey, y'know what? I've never gotten ANY praise or a good remark AT ALL about anythinG! So it's just practically normal for me. I gave up on a lot of things in my life.
It is just what I do. It is just who I am.
I suck hella lot. I have always thought of this, but now I KNOW it. I don't seem to know what my fucking problem is. I know what my problems are, what I don't know is why I can't seem to deal with them like every other rational human being that surrounds me.
Now really. I actually get emotional when discussing my future. Mainly because I know that the life I want, and I have no real chance at attaining it. I have no real chance at attaining ANYTHING.
Face reality, you moron.
Well, I'm off to bed soon.
Need a time out.
No comments:
Post a Comment